Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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