Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Watching her eat just hurts me
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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