Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
that is very illegal...i love you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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