Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
