he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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