yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
