Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
my poor anus
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
