he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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