I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
