Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
