If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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