dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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