I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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