Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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