I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
