And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Randomize
