haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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