I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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