I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
