She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
