...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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