i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize