apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
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