her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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