these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
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I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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