i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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