The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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