I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
