This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize