i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
