did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
