don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize