youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
