My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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