hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
