I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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