I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize