just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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