If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
