just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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