I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize