it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
