Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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