she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
