So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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