I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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