hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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