Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
