YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You were trust falling into bushes
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
