we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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