Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
