Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
