of course. lets lasso hookers.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
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Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.