I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
