Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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