Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
