WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
