Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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