I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Everything about him screamed your future.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
