i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
