We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
