he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
